F… You, We’ve Already got your Money..

Nintendo has gotten into the habit; regarding the Wii, of saying things (either through word or action) that are so far from the truth it’s become insulting. It’s gotten to the point that many Wii owners just don’t want to hear it anymore. PR is PR, and business is business, but either you do it honestly and respectfully, or you damage your relationship with your customers. We all love Nintendo, but sometimes it’s necessary to tell it like it is in order to stop someone you love from crapping on you. Here are the top 5 things that Nintendo needs to stop saying and doing.

5. Mario and Zelda games take time to develop.

Well duh… There isn’t a serious Nintendo gamer out there that doesn’t realize that great games take time to create. However, this excuse has become the gloss-over for Nintendo’s failures on two fronts. They’ve failed (initially at least, there is hope for the future) to create an environment where 3rd party developers see incentive to pick up the slack, and they failed (initially) to see the demand for new core games this generation, and seemingly refuse to make an adjustment. Nintendo is becoming very politician-like in their constant stance of: “We’re doing everything right, even if we aren’t.”

No one wants or needs to hear that Mario and Zelda games take time to develop. We may be hoping for a new Zelda game announcement some time next year, but we don’t expect it, and Mario isn’t coming any time soon. We know. What we really want to hear is one of two things: Nintendo has had the foresight to develop other serious titles in the meantime, or they haven’t and we need to strap ourselves in for a while. The latter sucks, but at least it’s honest and respect worthy.

Yes, Punch Out has been announced for next year, and that’s great. But seeing as how there is nothing worthwhile for the next 4-5 months having been announced, and we’ve already been going through a very dry and unfulfilling stretch for the last few, that’s hardly enough. Which brings us to the next thing they need to stop saying.

4. Nintendo’s core gamers are insatiable.

The insatiable comment implies that no matter what Nintendo does, core gamers will never be satisfied. It implies that they are doing all that they can. However, this is yet another cover for Nintendo’s shortcomings. Nintendo is far from doing all that they can. Core Nintendo gamers understand where Nintendo is coming from far better than they think I’d imagine. To a great extent, they are doing what they have to do to expand the market and make profit.

But Nintendo’s policies this generation deem outright that the vast majority of their games have far less replay value than the market standard. Greatly restricted online experiences, and one to two time play through caliber games dominate the Nintendo Wii game selection. If this is the type of game they want to release continually, then how do they expect gamers to not desire more during stretches of 6 and more months where nothing appealing is released? Bringing us to point number three.

3. Animal Crossing IS what you want and all you’re gonna get for now.

Now that the Animal Crossing: City Folk release is upon us, and it is being judged by the gaming community more thoroughly, it is proving to be exactly what it was feared to be. Or rather it is proving to have fallen short in all of the ways that matter most. Fans wanted an ungimped online Animal Crossing game with full interaction and exploration possible. They wanted the logical next steps to be taken. Yet not only did Nintendo choose to pretty much take the same model and move it over to Wii as past versions, they did so in order to tout their new “strings attached” voice chat system.

If you’ve played Animal Crossing before, there’s nothing new that’s really worth buying this game
for. I don’t want that. The average core gamer doesn’t want that. And we’re sick of being told that we do just so Nintendo can pretend that they are giving us games that we want.

2. $50 is an o.k. price for any non WiiWare Wii game.

This is one of the most irksome wrongs put onto gamers by Nintendo this generation and it needs to stop. When someone buys a game for $50, they have a right to expect that they will desire to play through the game more than once (or at least once for that matter), and that the game quality is representative of what the console is capable of.

While Nintendo has done a decent job of the latter with their own first party games, they fail more often than not with the former. Worse still, they continually allow crap from 3rd party developers that fails in both departments to not only release on the console, but cost 50 bucks. On one hand it is understandable that Nintendo wants to let Developers create their own price point for their games, but on the other hand, a price point that rips off customers – their customers; should not be allowed. Which brings us to the final and perhaps most insulting attitude of Nintendo.

1. F you, we already got your money.

All of the above feed into this attitude, which Nintendo may deny since they of course have never actually spoken this, but their actions have continually spoken louder than their words.

“Oh did you pay 50 bucks for that game and it sucked? F you, we’ve already got your money.”

“Want us to make sure that doesn’t happen again? F you, we’ve already got your money.”

“Are you buying games that you normally wouldn’t buy from us because our replay value is so thin? F you, we’ve already got your money.”

“Are you buying unfulfilling, slightly enhanced versions of games you’ve played in the past out of loyalty to us? Wishing that we’d give you the logical next step features that we know everyone wants? F you, we’ve already got your money.”

“Have you bought all of our quality releases for the Wii so far and the way we configure them leaves you wanting? F you, we’ve already got your money.”

“Do you want us to be straight up with you, respect you, and tell you the truth no matter how much it stings? F you, we’ve already got your money.”

If it’s been said once, it’s been said a thousand times: Just respect us enough to level with us Nintendo. Sure you may piss off some people and they’ll move on. But the bottom line core that exists as your backbone isn’t interested in leaving, and we aren’t interested in finding out how much abuse we can take before we do.

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