Top 5: “I can’t believe I bought that” Wii games
Top 5: “I can’t believe I bought that” Wii games
Oct 09Any time a video game console becomes as popular as the Nintendo Wii has in such a short time, surely it can’t help but be plagued with a bit of Shovelware. But not every game that we buy and don’t like is Shovelware. Sometimes we get tricked into buying a halfway decent game that just wasn’t what it was made out to be. After we play such a game, we’re pissed that we’ve bought it because it just wasn’t worth anywhere near as much as we paid for it. Here are the top 5 Non-Shovelware games that many of us wish we hadn’t bought. As well as “Archangelic” Judgment handed down on them.
5. Super Paper Mario –
Super Paper Mario was not a bad game, but it wasn’t really a good one. Over the years, rather than continuing the greatly beloved RPG genre that many gamers love, the Paper Mario series, while somewhat endearing (Since it’s Mario), has come to replace true RPG gaming as far as Mario is concerned. Super Paper Mario was more of a platforming puzzle game than an RPG, which is fine. Only since they tried to pass it off as an RPG, and the story was extremely weak, many gamers who bought this game felt cheated. If you didn’t buy it, you didn’t miss anything. If you did buy it, I feel your pain. It should never have cost more than $30, yet we paid fifty.
Judgment: Unforgiveable.
4. Red Steel –
If you own Red Steel you likely fall into one of these two categories: You either bought the game at the Wii’s launch because it was one of the few games aimed at core gamers during that time, or you bought it for cheap off the shovelware bin at Game Stop a few months later. Red Steel had so much promise, and even though it sucked badly, it still gave us hope. In the end many of us wish that we hadn’t bought it, but at the same time realize that we wouldn’t be excited for Red Steel 2 if we hadn’t. It was a launch game so Nintendo had to set the price-point at 50 bucks, even so, Red Steel was worth far less than that. (Whatever the lucky bargain bin hunters got it for I’d wager.)
Judgment: Forgiveness pending the awesomeness of Red Steel 2.
3. Warioland: Shake it! –
Warioland: Shake it! is not a bad game at all. It’s kind of fun, and revisits the classic 2D platformer genre that we don’t see very often anymore. However, this is a game that hinges largely on whether the individual likes the character Wario, and thinks that he and his antics are funny. I don’t. In fact, I’ve always detested Wario because the very idea of him is forced beyond reason. Even listening to Charles Martinet perform his voice during the game grates on my nerves it is so forced. But all of that aside, this decent/ very average game with the crappy character, and uninspired graphical style (in order to go cheap) was made for core gamers so I supported it. (This is what they have for us right now so we’d better buy it is Nintendo’s general attitude) And it cost me $50. Trust me, if you feel the need to play that $#!%, then rent it…
Judgment: Unforgiveable.
2. Dragon Ball Z Budokai: Tenkaichi 3 –
This group of characters in video games is being milked nearly as much Mario and the gang. Why? Because so many of us love the characters and the story of DBZ so much. Unfortunately, this love is rather one sided, because this particular game is abuse. Every DBZ fighting game milks in the same way: Use part of the story and some of the characters to create a fighting game. Then release a sequel that gives a little bit more. Then release a final sequel that finishes the story, and makes most if not all characters playable.
Now don’t get me wrong, DBZ Budokai: Tenkaichi 2 was a great game. Lots of fun. But that’s why part 3 hurt so much. Part 3 was supposed to not only improve upon part 2, but also be playable online. It failed on both fronts. The control system was changed for the worse, the work put into the graphics did not increase and it showed, and the online is completely unplayable.
And when I say unplayable, I don’t mean like in Super Smash Bros Brawl where every other match is glitchy and slowed down, with the occasional pure slow motion torture. Nope. This game IS slow motion personified. Let’s not forget, that it’s supposed to be Dragon Ball Z. These are supposed to be the fastest fictional characters ever created. If you’ve played an earlier version and you see this game in a shovelware bin for 10 bucks just walk on by. Shoot… If you see it for 5 bucks at a garage sale it might not be worth it.
Judgment: Absolutely Unforgiveable.
1. Pokemon Battle Revolution -
This game is the absolute King of overpriced, rip-off Wii games. Now ask anyone who knows me well, and they will tell you that I’m quite the die-hard Pokemon gamer. However, while Pokemon Colosseum and Pokemon XD were huge rip-offs in their own right, each had far more value than this chunk of crap game. At least those games had a B.S. RPG element to them. With Pokemon Battle Revolution, we pretty much paid $50 in order to play 3D online Pokemon battles with people we don’t know, and with people that we do know, but can’t talk to anyway.
Have you ever played an online game so isolating, that afterward you can’t be certain whether you actually played against a living person, or if it was the game’s AI? You’ll feel like that constantly when you play PBR. And that’s not the only upsetting thing about this game. While the Pokemon, stages, trainers, etc. look better than past games since it is on Wii, if any less work had been done at all you’d think it was a Game Cube game. Some might mistake it for a GC game anyway. The distinction is very faint. This is a game that literally milked an overly sore teat.
We expected the best, and got the worst. The truly troubling thing is, Nintendo probably doesn’t even think that they’ve trashed us. Pokemon Battle Revolution, with its over 1 million copies sold, raked in the dough for them when you consider how very little it cost to develop it. This game should have been $15 on WiiWare, which would have raised it from the level of crap to the level of awesome. But how could that ever be? The non-game Pokemon Ranch sold for that much on WiiWare.
Judgment: Unforgiveable with the promise of Hades in its Developer’s future.
Well there you have it. Surely there are worse games out there on the Wii, (yeah, I’ll stop calling you Shirley…), but these were games that were advertised, and hyped to be far more than the near garbage that they are. There’s not a game on this list that should have cost $50. If Nintendo expects people to continue to buy lots of games from them and their 3rd parties, they should be more diverse with their pricing, and more straight up about what their customers are getting.
